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First, thanks for creating such a great product. We sell tangibles, BTW.

I'd like to throw my hat in the ring for a cross-sell feature on the cart before a person checks out.

For example, buyer purchases three widgets, goes to check out and gets four thumbnails in the cart of discounted items only available at a discount if they add them now, before checking out, not after. They can pick one item or four at that point.

As it is now, I can create buttons for the 'main' product and the discounted product combined, for one price. But what if the buyer wants to buy the main product, and two discounted products? It would be very tedious creating buttons for all of the possible combinations.

Also, we could create buttons for the discounted products only and have the buyer add them to the cart, but then risk having the buyer buy the discounted products only, without buying the main product. We don't have the time or manpower to manually monitor this.

Hope this makes sense. I've surfed the forums pretty thoroughly and have not found solutions.

How is the cross-sell feature coming along?

We don't really have a standard method to accomplish what you describe, and I'm not aware of any particular plans to add such a feature. You might be interested in this related discussion:
http://www.e-junkie.com/bb/topic/2848

Also, this merchant has devised their own programming to add an upgrade option in the cart after certain items have been added to the cart, so you might try to examine their code to see what they did or contact them to ask for pointers:
http://muvenum.com/buy-now/